Strength Renewed

00:20
Therefore you deal with me. Hi. Happy afternoon to you. I finally have the time change down. It's amazing. It's only took me a year. Yeah. Yeah. It's so great. I'm so pleased you're feeling bitter. Gosh. Sounds like you were accidentally put through the wringer. Oh my God. was literally, I've said this to every single client in my entire life and there's several mantras that I live by, but this is one of them. The reason that I do what I do is because when you are sick is the only thing that you can think about is how do I get well? And when you are well,

00:49
You can think about everything. So I was very, very ill and I don't remember the last time I was really this sick. I even, I don't really, you know, I don't really call in. Even though I own my own business, I just don't. So it was just a, I'm just grateful to be on the other side of that and happy to be like feeling healthy and just can think straight. Cause I don't know, it lasted longer than I normally am used to this, getting through my body and then being able to like, you know,

01:19
be okay again, but was definitely not that. It was not that. It's a weird fatigue, isn't it? Like you mentioned it when we were talking. And I remember that when I had COVID in 22 and I just was like, I'm so exhausted. Why am I so exhausted? And then I had this tiny little cough and I'm like, ah, I think it's COVID. And lo and behold, it was. In fact, when we were with Jill in that May trip in 22, when we first met actually, I'd just gotten over COVID. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, I'm,

01:50
and how long did it take you to feel better? And I'm not even sure what the hell that f-ing had, but it was some awful thing. Do you remember how long it took you to feel better? Yeah, about six days. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Cam actually, because I met Cam over there and he arrived with COVID. I already had COVID and he had a different, his symptoms were like really bad gut and really like razor throat. Whereas my, had a slight throat.

02:19
I had a headache, had a head cold, essentially just super tired. I'm extremely happy that I had the symptoms I did. There's something about like a sore throat. I had so much strep throat when I was a little girl. I finally got my tonsils out and I was just, I'm just so happy. Anytime I have any kind of sore throat, I just go right back to like the pain of that experience. Yes. You know?

02:46
But yeah, I am very happy to be healthy and I am glad to be walking in the world this version of myself, the version of myself that talks to lots of people. Wherever I am, wherever I am in the universe, I bring it in and I talk to people and I think that's actually really important. I am in the spirit, I mean, we're definitely gonna get.

03:13
get to the good stuff, but I think. But this is the good stuff. But this is the good stuff. I always think about how health is so affected by, of course, by the amount of protein we eat and how much strength work we do and how many supplements we take and that. But it is really affected by our exchanges in the course of the day. Who are you talking to?

03:38
Not who you're texting, by the way, who you're actually having a conversation with. like literally who you're picking up a phone or who you might be like seeing in a store or something like that. There's, I mean, I make it a point to know everybody's names when I go grocery shopping because it's important. No, no, I agree. like it's, yeah, often it's funny, isn't it? Because we often experience in a store or

04:02
sort of out there in the world is governed by the exchanges we have with people that we don't even really know. Like you could be like just walking past someone and you might try to, you just sort of glimpse and make eye contact. if you, you often use smile or you sort of like acknowledge and if they don't back, you kind of get this sort of like wave of irritation. how hard is it just to smile? You know, and you sort of stop yourself and kind of ah, actually like it's less about.

04:27
me and it's more about, I have no idea what's going on in their life. So you sort of have to stop yourself from judging them on how you, on what you would have expected them, you know, your expectations, I guess. huge. Yeah, they And that happens. I have to remind, that's a thing that I'm always kind of pausing and I read something the other day and it was like, you're not the star of somebody else's narrative. you I mean? Like so when you're...

04:55
having this moment where you're feeling so affected by somebody else's action, it's usually just because you plopped yourself right in the middle of whatever their story was and you really didn't have any business. excuse myself from that quite often like, whoa, I don't need to be there. I just need to be where I am. But what you did say was kind of interesting. I sort of hope that when you make a quick little eye contact at somebody or you ask somebody a question, I always love

05:23
It's kind of like almost a game. I love to see what it can possibly turn into. sometimes it happens in really unlikely places. We were going back to school shopping. I'll share a quick story. And I took Gemma and we went to Lululemon and she loves the store because she's nine. And I I love the store too, but definitely not expecting to have my like pay it forward moment, right? I was like, just her some fucking shorts and get out of here, right? So we go in the waiting room or the waiting room, the changing room.

05:53
And which is always like slightly because there's always like so many people in there and they're always like hustling you through. But I met this woman there and she worked there and she was just like just had one of those moments where you stopped them and you talked to them and they stopped and had time for you and weren't trying to be somewhere else. And this is a real powerful thing when you're kind of in that moment. And we.

06:17
talked to her and asked her some questions and she let us be. And then we kind of modeled our stuff and we walked out and she loved it and it was fun and Gemma loved it. And she felt like a million bucks and there's nothing better than my daughter feeling good in her body. Then we go to check out and somehow Brianna, my friend made her way to where we were checking out. And I kind of lingered in that moment because I wanted to talk to her one more time. And so I talked to her one more time and she,

06:47
I was, as we all do, we always bring all the stuff that we want. And sometimes as we're ringing it through, maybe I don't need these two things or I don't need that one thing. So I just put the black tank top that I didn't really believe I needed. have 11 and I, you know, went on to get the rest and she looked at me and she said, I think you need that black tank top. And I smiled at her and I said, I probably do, but I'm not.

07:14
And then she kind of looked at me again and I was like, what is going on here? And she said, I really actually think you do. And she had a headset on and she called over her manager. Now, just to remind everybody, she did not own Lulu. She's a college student. But the way she was sort of command, just as present she had, she just could probably make anybody walk on water. And she called the manager and she said, this customer is special. My daughter's watching this whole thing. So effing awesome. And so

07:43
And so they took the tag right off this black tank top and threw it in my bag for free. And of course, it's not about the $50 tank top. is everything about the fact that she just, she was like, look, I thought you could want it. I liked your exchange. I liked meeting you. I liked this moment and I wanted to honor it in some way. and I just thought it was pretty fantastic. And I love that my kids got to see that this is what happens when you don't put your head down. When you're looking up.

08:11
You make eye contact with somebody, you ask a few questions, they may shut you down. They may shut But it's a risk that you take. But look what happens when that doesn't happen, you know? Yeah. Look what happens when it doesn't happen. Yeah, amazing. But then when doesn't, it's a very, very magical thing. mean, tell me when the last time you went into a little lemon store and they threw in something for free. I don't think it's going to happen. But, and equally... I bet you on this, I would like, I would love people to like, write in to us, you know what I mean? Like, tell us, I would love to know your moment where you're like, what in the hell?

08:39
You know, like, yeah, do you ever do I'll ask you this mix. Do you ever do kind of, you know, do you ever like buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you at a cafe? I mean, that kind of that's a little cheesy of a question. But do you do anything like that? Do you have like my lululemon black tink top moment? Like has something like that to you? It's not something regular because I'm not often in coffee shops, actually. But the last time that happened was

09:05
was on a run and I really needed to use the restroom. thing is you have to buy something to get the code. And so I just, so I bought something and then just gave it, like I bought a gift card and then gave it to the person at the end of the, at the end of the, um, the, the line basically. So they got a free coffee and I got to use the restroom, but that was, but that's not altruistic really, because I needed something and that was the way to get it. And then I didn't, you know, I was neither here nor there with the coffee. didn't. Yeah.

09:34
So I have done it, but it's not something I regularly do in practice probably. I think I'm going to challenge myself and you included. think every now and then people should put that in in the same way that you schedule a run in every now and then, right? Obviously not going to do it daily. But I think on the bridge, there used to be a toll where you pay cash to get across the bridge. And now you have these little fast track things and everyone takes cash and you're more across the bridge.

10:03
When I was a little girl, my brother and I, my dad used to always, I would say almost every single time whenever he would pay one time for the person behind us. Oh, nice. And I remember my brother and I just thinking like, what is, like three bucks or something mixed. It wasn't anything crazy, but like I remember just looking behind me and looking at their faces. And sometimes they were like, ooh, like what does this person want from me? Right. Other times they, it was like, I just handed them a new car. I know. It was a $2 toll. And they were like,

10:32
Delighted. like screaming, mean, clapping, like waving to us. I can feel that moment. I was, think at that point, and this is why I shared the story tonight, these stories is because I do think this also has that same effect, like exercise. it really does kind of, it can be brain transformative.

10:57
when you're up in your head and all the things and you just really want to send a different signal, I would love us all to kind of challenge it, try it. I mean, I we've heard it in the form of pay it forward, but I think it's even more than that. It's not even like a pay it forward thing. It's just more of like, I just want to kind of alter the way I'm doing things. type thing. like, so it would be quite good, I reckon, to come up with a couple of what are some super easy, non-resource stretching things that people can do.

11:26
to help. it. I love it. mean, so this is also kind of like pulls together this conversation that this idea of a blueprint, I think we talk about this, but just kind of like waking up in the morning and kind of going, know, I this for breakfast and I do this for lunch. And this is my way that I kind of connect in the world a little bit differently. Right. And so I kind of love that. And we'll talk about the other things on this blueprint, too. But I think that's a great question, because I was, I'm like,

11:56
you know, the fastest one I can think of is just is doing something like, you know, buying a coffee or buying a tea for somebody just behind you, like, you know, I'll buy whatever he's having or whatever. So yeah, like I can think about, you know, that kind of seems cool. Even just kind of like dropping off. You did the gift card, but I kind of like this idea of like.

12:20
putting that into a little envelope and leaving it on somebody's door. You know, if you're just out and about and you're driving through and you saw something like that. But it is making me kind of think of what are ways where you can do like make this as part of your blueprint, this category of, you know, how do I engage differently in the world? This is probably what I would call that category. Not like a little, right? Like an act of kindness, like type. It goes under, it goes under that engagement thing. So this is one way with which you can do it. Because Jess, you talk about

12:49
gratitude a lot and we end the podcast with gratitude that comes really naturally to you. It's not a Mickey thing. It's not that I don't feel grateful, but it's not actually something that comes naturally to me to voice it or think about it. And it often feels like I'm just picking something out of it because it's not ingrained in me the way that is in you to actually acknowledge and talk about it. And I feel like I'm not, I don't feel like that's a...

13:14
A it's not a failing on me. Like I don't think, Oh no, I failed. It's just, it's literally like, it's my observation of my reaction to it and how I feel about it. And I think I'm probably a lot like other people as well, you know? And so it takes, so it sort of starts. So part of the, how you engage in the world might be, you know, saying what you're grateful for. might be an act of kindness. It might be, you know, uh, choosing to engage in conversation with, with someone who is.

13:44
like, you know, that they're in service or you're, you know, I don't know, it's like a person at the checkout or something like that, which I think that all of that comes under that sort of category. I like the idea of, my friend Amy randomly like drops around. She's like, oh my God, I saw this, this isn't money. I saw this great like romper at this hospice shop. It's 12 bucks. I'm picking it up for you. You know, like she does things like that. And when we do bakes, I

14:13
like when we meet up at the gym, give her a bake and she gives me meat and you know, her bake. Adorable, just to categorize, because you know, I love your cute little isms. A bake is a baked good. Yeah, baked good. That's the cutest thing in the freaking world. God, I'm so glad we're friends. Yeah, like a A I love it. A muffin. A muffin. It's perfect. Wonderful. Because to me, nothing says

14:37
I love you more than a delivery of a muffin. So I so I, but I, but I appreciate this mix and I appreciate that you, that this, you know, it's, it's, it's nice. Cause it's like why you're friends with people, right? It's how you can exchange these like kind of ways in which you're right. It's very ingrained in me, but thinking logically about a banana is not. Oh, isn't it interesting? know. It's not ingrained in me. And I think about all the ways in which you've, you've helped me in so many,

15:08
bazillions of others, truly as part of this blueprint of like, giving me a little bit of like a roadmap. When I'm eating to not have like I have, I don't have these like, forbidden thoughts. I don't have as many. That's not true. I still have them. But you don't act on them as much. I don't act on them as much. So in the same way where you're like, okay.

15:32
you know, maybe our friendship has made you go, you know, I found a little more gratitude shit because Jessica's kind of working with me and I kind of like this feeling, right. That's the same sort of thing for me is like, I'm just not villain. I like I'm not there's like food isn't the villain. It's the way in which I choose to kind of think about it and consume it. And yeah. And to also be like, you know, OK, so so what? You know what I mean? So you had the full banana or you said something about a potato, which was

16:01
also so freaking genius because in my book, sweet potatoes are totally fine and regular potatoes are not fine. I don't even know where I came up with that. I know. And you didn't come up with it, Jess. It was like just absolutely, it was the public health message in the late 90s, early 2000s that just has prevailed. I mean, yeah, and we won't go down this rabbit hole tonight. Yeah, they're just

16:29
Things, the ways that we think, which are just natural and ways which, which, often we have these thoughts and we don't even know where they come from, just these narratives, right? Like you're, you grew up with gratitude, you grew up thinking in a certain way, which made those practices just really are your second nature. It is part of who you are. Whereas it's not that other people don't feel gratitude or don't think about these things, but they just wouldn't know how to express it maybe.

16:57
the same way. And that's why I it's important to have these like little isms or these things in a way to just call on them. Because if something is a natural for you, like, and that's why I was just talking about like the food thing, and we'll continue the conversation of like that kind of concept. But I think it's sometimes just really important to have just two or three things that you're pulling from. You you talk about this too, like when you're like, if eating, you know, a certain way is hard for you, then don't complicate it.

17:26
have two breakfast choices. You know what I mean? Two lunch choices or two dinner. Well, it's the same thing when you're out there engaging in the world. If you really want to develop relationships and kind of make a difference, have two ways that you're practicing it, like you did. Like, go bring a bake or ask a few extra questions. And who cares if they answer you and closed off? Whatever. There's nothing to lose to me. I know the science around it. So it's still very clinical for me when I'm.

17:54
engaging with people. know how I'm going to feel. actually know that how they might feel. So it's, it's all, but I, but I think having just a few ways in which you do that just feels so much less overwhelming. And that is so true to these other areas of our health too, frankly. Totally. And I love that. And I love that you're thinking about the, the, you know, ways with which we can engage out there in the world to make us, to like, literally it makes us feel better. It makes everyone feel better. It's just like a win-win.

18:23
If you want to change the frequency of your energy in that moment, in this given moment, there's really only one way to do it. I really believe that. Do know what I mean? it's just like engage differently. Talk to somebody, talk to yourself differently. So what you're saying can really change it. I mean, it may not feel like doing this workout, but I'm going to say some other thing that gets me to the other side. And lo and behold, sometimes. I did think that it was

18:53
it warranted this story because I that the whole exchange with this woman at Lululemon was really powerful. And it sent like a huge message. And what I will say about that is that my two children, that story will be part of their narrative. You know, when they're talking about things the same way that I'm sitting here talking to you about my dad paying for the guy behind us on the toll on the bridge, this is one of those moments that I'll be

19:21
sharing and telling and talking about in a bigger way in my children will too. And that's completely awesome. So I'm glad that other people are kind of getting the benefit. And I'm also happy that you thought of some ways in which you you you practice it too. totally. I think it's important. I agree. I totally agree. And today, it get a lulu lemon black tank. How awesome. I got a lulu lemon black tank. I mean, you know how I feel about a good black tank. You just can't have enough of them. I agree. Yeah.

19:51
I gave you one mirror. It was the best. It's my favorite tank. I love it. I love it. You had it and it makes me happy. I see it on our pictures. So you really did need a new one actually. I guess I did. Okay, cheers. it's all there. I love it. I love it too. What are you grateful for? How about that? The black tank that you gave me. I love it. Perfect. Me too. what about you? I'm grateful for the black tank I gave you and I'm grateful for the black tank that was given to me. Amazing.

20:20
happy happy happy for these stories and different ways in which we work in the world. be movement. Yeah, the black. God, I love us. There you go. Yeah. It'll start with a banana, a potato and a black tink top. Exactly. That's the best. I know. All right, Des. See you soon. Bye.