Strength Renewed

00:21
as as I see you. nice. how you doing? Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm sipping on a very hot cup of tea because per usual, it's always very interesting because you're like, well, what is the weather like in June in California? And it's been quite chilly. So two weeks ago, I melting into the ground. And now I'm having a cup of hot tea with a black sweatshirt on.

00:50
not aviaturnation and with the with just like a very kind of chilly, chilly breeze. And I was just thinking about thinking about that I'm a little bit cold, but I'm also happy that I'm on the other side of I had a I had a procedure today. And I'm feeling probably a little out of sorts from that. And then I'm just reminded, like, I'm so glad you know, when you're like, have the anxiety of something that you have to do, and then you're like, there's a little bit of that like serotonin dump or just of like,

01:19
I can take an exhale because I did that now and I don't have to like worry about it for a while because it was a stressful thing. are, things like that. And are we talking about that now? Yeah, fine. I like to talk about all the things that affect all of us. I had a colonoscopy. We have a family history of it and colon cancer. And so I wanted to kind get in and...

01:47
catch it early. know it tends to, it can be one of those silent killers of people in their early 40s and as breast cancer can be too. And so I just thought, well, this is a screen that I can do to check things out. I had never had one, obviously, before. it, lots of people have had them. And so they didn't undermine, they were like, you'll be fine. But until even though it's a very common procedure, I know you can relate to this. Just because it's common,

02:17
doesn't mean it's common to me. I've never done it. Totally. So I was like, You have to drink a lot. I mean, it is a significant gallon of a very untasty kind of, you Colite or whatever that beverage is that makes you stay close to your bathroom. the funny thing is, is I thought I would feel more like, I know this is kind of a weird thing. I thought, oh, great. I'm gonna, it's like, I'm gonna feel so.

02:45
I'm gonna like all the stuff is gonna be out of me. You know what's funny is like, I think back, I feel better on like a week of like Mickey diet, know, like nutrition plan. When I'm really following the way that we talk about and I'm being pretty honest with myself, I feel actually better than I did doing one of these like, you know.

03:10
colon cleanses, if you will. It's funny, I know people like think, I'm gonna go and they do these, like people actually just go do a cleanse, because they're like, I'm gonna feel so good, I'm gonna get rid of all of the toxins or whatever it is, they like, I'm not even sure if there's truth to that. But I did empty myself out, because you have to. And then you have to get up early in the hell morning, if you're not done with it, because you have all these rules, you have to be like cleared out three hours before you go in there and then.

03:38
And then you, then the procedure's quite, you know, you're asleep, they give you some sedation, take a little nap, and they look for all the things that aren't supposed to be in there, and I came back clean. But I also like feel gassy and bloated and not that great in spite of. So I'm not sure why that is. This is not.

04:00
the folk topic of our podcast today, but this is, this is the state of jazz. Yeah. And it's an interesting and maybe it's, it like the contrast? Yeah. Like is it the contrast between, because you had to like just have the drink as opposed to eating anything. So your gut probably just didn't, didn't get its normal meals. And so, and then of course you eat because you're hungry post and maybe you have more food or it's just sort of, I don't know, maybe just

04:30
something else, maybe the sedation that you were given, I don't know. But also, like, how lovely or how great that you had it and it came back clear. Now, how old are you, Jess? 45. So I think you have these, have them when you're, you know, technically, I think this is like the age where they're going to be like a little bit, you know, likely to give them to you, but they're still not totally excited to.

04:59
and I really had to push on the family history piece of it. I think, you know, whatever I had to do, I just thought that that is the most straightforward way to rule out, you know, cancer. I did the like strips and the tests and whatever, but more than anything, you know, it's not a fun situation, but it's so like low key to what

05:28
to what you can get and expect. So go get it if you're putting it off. Like it's not that much fun, but it's completely worth it. And as things go relatively painful, I was just thought that I was gonna feel, you know, a little bit more lighter and cleansed and less like, but it just didn't really quite work out.

05:51
that way. But at least the idea that you are clear is freeing and is light. you're not questioning. is there some like, people literally like to do this stuff, right? They love to like, you know, crap their brains out some days just so like they because they think I'm just going to feel something. What is that? Is there real truth to that?

06:14
mean, does clear things out. But the idea that you clear toxins out, I don't know, your body's clearing toxins all of the time, isn't it? Like, is that what your liver does? It's a detoxification, isn't it? What your kidneys do? they do. And yes, of course, some people have genes that help turn up or turn down their detoxification pathway. So some people might not have as clear but I think those people, they sort of know who they are, they don't tolerate

06:41
have been that well, they don't tolerate alcohol that well, know, like, they're sensitive to medications and things like that. But there are people who go and get those intimates, aren't they? Like, is that what you call them? Yeah, like, bit of a flush out of I don't even know what it is. I Yeah, that's they do. It's like a flush out or something. So I'm like, okay, people feel great after that, apparently. But I mean, I wouldn't want to do it myself. Be honest, I have some detox tea, I've got, you know, whatever I'll find.

07:09
I guess I'm just, I think I'm just happy to feel like regular, but now I feel like almost like it was like so much and then you just eat your regular meals and stuff. And then it's like, it's quick to feel a little bit crazy, it's a good lead in actually, because people do all these things in hopes of feeling lighter or feeling a little bit

07:39
better. It's the things that we do to come to a point of feeling, you know, satisfied with our bodies or kind of what even that what what what is the definition of that for us, right? What is body satisfaction? It was a very big, big topic, I guess, but little things like that made me think about it like, Oh, I'm gonna feel so much better. I'm gonna do this. And I'm just gonna like, feel so light or whatever. You know what I mean? If I do that?

08:06
Yeah, and such a good point, and a great thing to talk about because this comes up a lot in my programs, which the ones that I help out on with like Hayley and Hayley Happens, but also my own programs, like people, they come in with very clear body composition goals and if they meet them, they're not happy with the end result. They expect that they're going to have this, that they're going to

08:36
have much more self-acceptance and quote unquote love their body or at least like a little bit more. But instead what can happen is that people start to notice other things like an increase in cellulite because the fat cells shrink or the skin that was plumped up with fat is now a little bit loose because you don't have the fat in the cells anymore or fat doesn't get redistributed but you don't lose like.

09:03
The way that people lose body fat isn't linear. it's not like just some people lose it evenly off their body. Some other people struggle to lose it in certain areas versus others. So all of these things mean that the end result of what you expect might not always live up to your expectations. And then you struggle. You're like, expected to feel better about how I look because I've reached my goal, but I don't. And I think this is where the work has to happen.

09:33
But like little things, like even just repeating, like repeat the cell, like the cellulite again, like that's so fascinating. Some people are like, girl, I don't want cellulite on my body. Like all the things that they want to rid themselves of, right? Like the spot tree, we get that a lot. But explain one more time. like when the cellulite goes away, because you can get rid of some of your cellulite, then what happens to the body? Well, what happens is that if the skin is looser, then cellulite will look more visible.

10:03
because it's a structure thing. It's about your fascia underneath your skin and your subcutaneous fat, so the fat that's stored under your skin. So as you lose the fat, those cells sort of shrink. You don't lose the fat cell, but the cell itself shrinks. And then that can sort of dimple a little bit in the presence of looser skin because we are all older.

10:30
then it can look sagging and a little bit more like you've got more cellulite, which is literally just normal, but you're not gonna, you aren't going to transform from a 48 year old woman to a 28 year old body just by losing the body weight and gaining some muscle. know, like your, our skin's just not as elastic. We've got these fat cells that have been, that have been just sort of have shrunk, but are there. Like you can't lose fat cells. They're always gonna be there once you have them.

10:59
So your desired shape isn't necessarily the outcome, despite the fact that you may weigh what you wanted to weigh on the scales. Or you do have intermittent satisfaction and you are happy, you're not left as happy as what you anticipated you were, I think. And that's a problem. And if I just continue.

11:27
I think this is where some self-sabotage comes in actually, because if you've worked this hard to then reach this point that you should be satisfied with, then you could probably go one of two ways. If you're not satisfied, you're going to continue to lose, but then that may result in a loss of muscle and getting too skinny, and we see that. Or you might sort of self-sabotage in that...

11:55
the way to fix or solve a problem, like the way you thought it was to solve the problem didn't actually end up with the result you thought. you know, I can also see people's sort of self-sabotage come in where they then sort of start acting in a way that doesn't align with the goals because when they did align with their goals, they didn't get what they wanted anyway. You know, so it can go one or two ways, which just means that, I mean, that's a couple of things that people need to sort of,

12:24
think about but it is a, you know, it's a challenge that people experience. Well, it's always so interesting too, because like what are you know, your people always come, come going. To me, it's either like I want to lose weight or I want to build muscle. Or it's both, right? Like, yeah, it's a lot. There's a lot of that, you know, and then and then there's just, there's just

12:47
And do not get me wrong because I am so here for the aesthetic. I'm not an idiot. Like for myself, I'm very open and very vulnerable about what that all looks like and what that all means. But I also know that like, whether you're in your 40s or for me in my 30s or 20s or gosh, even in my teens, I was always unsatisfied. You know what mean? Like I always had body issues and just like,

13:16
issues in general. And it's crazy because like what I was told and what I was doing and I mean was like a super athletic and very capable, you know, person who put a lot of attention to that clearly and just always suffered from it as so many women do. So I'd love to like blame it like somehow all of a sudden like in my 40s and like that was different than when I was in my 30s but like the same feelings are completely there just like when they were.

13:46
You know, they've in me at each of these stages. I think the only thing at some point that I hope changes for people, at least when you're talking about strength, as I always say, well, in this past weekend, I have a training partner and a coach who will be 60. And she's incredible. And she just won the world championship. Amazing. I'm kettlebell. And she competed against people that were half our age. And she did.

14:16
for everybody out there who just maybe who follows this along at all, but like she's lifting 53 pounds. She's snatching it. And you know, I am just like wildly like, okay. I mean, there is a total example of strength built over time. She's the strongest and probably most capable and then right now she is so, I try not to fear it. I try to see like what strength, strength is so important because you know, like all the surgeries in the world, plastic surgeries are done some are

14:45
or whatever, can't take that. What I can lift, what I can do, like I try to keep it. So it's like, it's more about what I can do. chasing the aesthetic as it pertains to like body satisfaction is just, is tough. I mean, that is just, that is gonna be constant. Like it's always around us telling us, you know what I mean? Like look this way or be like this. It's so rare. I most people are, you know,

15:14
that I see on a day in and day out basis is just they're they're not satisfied. There's just something it's almost like they're trained to also not be satisfied. Like it'd be like if they came to you and they're like, I'm satisfied. It would be like they would almost go wait, I'm not supposed to say that, right? Yeah, I know what you mean. Because to admit that you as people might almost think that there's arrogant or it's you know, like it's a bit self absorbed or I don't know, self obsessed but

15:44
Yeah. And maybe part of it is that we because well, I think a lot of it is, you know, the diet and the exercise that you have to do to get to your goal. mean, that's, it's simple. It's not easy, but it's simple to implement. But that doesn't mean and actually the real work about sort of self acceptance and, and get body acceptance for want of a better word that has to

16:10
be a part of the process as well. And that has to be a work on and it's easy not to think about doing the inner work and the deep work is what people call it. Whilst you've got this really tangible goal, but if you reach your goal and you're not happy, it's not that the goal itself was wrong. It's just that you need to sort of now work on the really important stuff. I think like do the mindset stuff. It's so seem so glib to say that, but it's so true. Like expose yourself to materials every single day.

16:40
that teach you how to think differently. See yourself for more than just the body that you have. Appreciate your body for what it can do, but also you're more than just your body. And if these kind of narratives are things that you haven't explored, then books, podcasts, meditation, journaling around the ideas, mean, all of this stuff is just super.

17:07
powerful ways to sort of shift how you think and it's not going to work overnight, but you literally have to rewrite that script in your head that you were hearing that is telling you that you're not good enough. You haven't reached, you know, you've reached a goal, but you still don't look good. You know, all of those sort of more negative framings, you have to rewrite that script. Oh my God. I think this is a very, I would say one of many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons why like

17:36
why we wanted to do this podcast, why I feel so important about it every week is that like, this is the underlying message, right? Like, I want this to be a place that, you know, our friends and viewers and listeners can like, literally like hit play. And there's some aspect of that in every one of our shows, cause it's like, that is the never ending, like.

18:00
Like that's the journey I always say. Like there's not really a destination here. It's really like the continuous journey. But like, do you put that into practice? And I was thinking about ways in which it's kind of like, how do we add more protein to our meals? But how do we legitimately change this narrative that always wants to hustle us to you're not enough side? It's actually, we were actually designed to be more run by.

18:26
the amygdala by the animal part of our brain than we are by the rational brain. it's so fighting that is not like, like glib or just kind of like Hocus Pocus. It's like a real legitimate like scientific fact that you're going to wake up every day. For me, one technique I've been working on like, because that I always say to the thought that comes in that's telling me like, that's trying to hustle me out of the less satisfying thought. I always say, okay, like

18:55
Thank you. Like, literally, like, we talk about, I heard that, I hear that, but I don't need that right now. You know what I mean? Like, I hear that, I because I used to, take it in and kind of run with the narrative. And now I'm like, whoa, whoa. Like, that's not gonna serve me. So thank you, but no thank you. And I just kind of, like, almost like in, like, taking a tangible thought and just kind of scooching it a little bit over to the side, because it'll really run rampant for me and I will feel the effects of it from a health standpoint.

19:25
And then I also feel like one thing about this too, when you listen in to something, even when I'm listening to other podcasts or talking to a friend or whatever, if there's something that hits differently for me, I literally gift that to every single person I come in contact with that day. You know what I mean? Like I'm gifting that message that somehow resonated from me and you or from somebody else. And I work on that and I like gift it.

19:52
to everybody and like, you should definitely think about this today. And so then it's like, then you kind of come from a place of power and you come from a place of like, you know, I think that this stuff helps to rewrite the negative narrative helps to rewire the brain, but it's so many years and I see it, you know, and having like children and you just, you see how embedded this like disconnection and how

20:18
how you were always in want mode. You know what I mean? You're never in like a mode where you're like, I feel really good about where I am. I'm not saying, I'm sure there's those of you that are out there and yeehaw to you. But for a lot of us, it's just like, you're just in a place of suffering almost. Do you know what I mean? Because you're just never feeling like.

20:42
enough, right? Yeah. So just it's just a lot of suffering. I'm trying to help people make stuff a tiny bit less. Yeah. Yeah. Think about what you can do and what your body's doing. And also, like, when it comes to the body, you know, you and I were talking about this, too. It's it's a little strange, because there's a lot of marketing, there's a lot of marketing for for, you know, what we can do to our faces, or we can take bills or what we can do. But there's there's a marketing piece that still screams

21:11
If you could have this life, if this is the way you look, this will come to you if this is your aesthetic. And I just we buy into, but it would just crazy. Which is crazy because clearly that's not actually real life. But there's the part of your brain, the same part of your brain that wants to buy the lotto ticket thinking if only, you know, it could be me that wins the 17 million and it could be you, but odds are low. You can't just rely on-

21:41
you know, those kind of thoughts. And I've always, they tell me if I'm wrong here, but like, even if I came to you six pounds lighter and you know, a little more Botox or filler or whatever the hell, or a facelift even, like you still would get something out of this exchange based upon how I made you feel. Like you still return to me in this presence in our relationship because you're like, well, shit.

22:11
Every time we do this together and we're around each other, there's something that emanates. There's a deeper connection between us. It's like that gets more and more hardwired into our relationship. So really, I'm not saying that the other stuff isn't important to me, because it 100 % is. But it's still how I'm going to make you feel at the end of the day. the end of day, totally. That is literally like you're like, when you're with me, you get off and you're like, I like.

22:38
we talked about like Ashwin, you feel I liked the connection. Yeah. And no matter what I do on the outside, just doesn't, that's not going to change that. So so tricky. know. It's like that is actual, you know, I know what that means. You know, I know, I know this, tried to the science around it, but I don't know what it'll take. The question is still the question, right? Where do you find just a little bit of sense of comfort and self?

23:07
with your body, you know, when are you just a little bit more satisfied? Maybe you'll never be fully, I may not, but are you 2 % more than you were? Yeah, it's not a fixed destination. It'll always ebb and flow. so sort of to close out, I'd say that if you struggle with stuff like this, then, and you have yet to set yourself a physical goal and really think about how what your body can do, then that would be a great first step like

23:35
Okay, now you've reached your physical, like how, you know, where you thought you would be from a physique standpoint, like, can you now appreciate your body not just for how it looks, but actually what it does and what it's bought you and for how many years you've been on this earth. And then also dive into, you know, some other, like James Clear, Atomic Habits, I don't know, he always comes up. Maybe Brené Brown that you and I talk about, Gretchen Rubin.

24:05
the happiness project, like 2 % happier with like Michael Esther. Like there are loads of people who put out this content that allow you to appreciate just bigger things and feel more at peace with who you are, but don't expect it to happen overnight, I suppose. No, that's why the 2 % project is the name of the book, right? Cause it's like, if we're making just, it's the same, everything that we're doing is just.

24:33
Incremental like yeah, they're like I literally like success now for me is not about Like the big win, you know what I mean? It's literally that I did like small incremental things consistently You know, I mean like yeah, I really go. Okay. Well, you know what like maybe your exercise wasn't perfect in last two days But you moved, know what I mean? Like you didn't just like lay down you walked or you did so to me it is just it's like

25:01
doing that small thing over time consistently so that the habit is embedded rather than look for this illusion of perfection, because it doesn't even exist anyways. I think one thing to add to body satisfaction is super important. And somehow, I don't know who was talking about this this week, but it's so important to differentiate the emotion behind something and just the action. You know what I mean? Yeah.

25:31
don't let the emotion override the showing up piece, you know what I mean? The consistency piece, small little bit over time. That really does count. It's not this huge thing that we're working to get to. It's just incremental and it's consistently incremental. Yeah, 100%. And also find the people like this. Find your Mickey, find your Jess, find the people that are gonna sit with you and talk through.

26:00
and really listen to the crux of it. Because often it's not just about one aesthetic thing. There's obviously a lot more thing that makes up that feeling. So explore it. Explore it. Be open to exploring it. There's no right or wrong way. think the people that are willing to explore and think about why they feel certain ways and how it manifests are really powerful people to me. Yeah, I agree. What are you grateful for today?

26:29
Today I am grateful for my sweatshirt that is keeping me nice and warm because it's winter here and it's my New York Marathon sweatshirt which I love so I still fit into it which is great. Yeah so something completely like seemingly like small and like not even worth mentioning but hey I'm really pleased I've got it.

26:59
I think we had a conversation about it last week when we both showed up in our Aviator Nation sweatshirts and we had the first 10 minutes of our conversation was just literally about like, when I put this on, I think of you. When I put this on, it inspires me. Yeah. Yeah. About all the things that we can do. So I think that there's a lot there in the story, right? The sweatshirt isn't just a sweatshirt, it's a sweatshirt with a story. And what are you grateful for, Jess? I'm grateful for you.

27:28
I'm grateful for our podcast. I'm grateful for what we can continually bring to each other's lives and then to others. I'm grateful. There's a lot of gratitude for me today because I'm grateful that I got to the other side of the colonoscopy because I was super nervous about that stuff. mean, for being a person in the health world, like I am humbled.

27:52
by health every day, which I think is why I keep doing what I do. I'm so humbled by it. So I'm like, yay. Like, it's not a Pollyanna thing for me. Like, I'm like, cool. I woke up, I'm healthy. I got through these procedures. I don't think I'm superwoman. Do you know what mean? Like, I never know what could, I don't know. Like, what if I'm the person that has a reaction to sedation? I'm not sure, right? Like, I'm not above any of it. So I'm always grateful for like coming on the other side of them and then doing them. And,

28:20
I'm grateful for the reminder that it's a little bit every day and it's incremental and to not like try not to beat myself up too hard. I like to myself up relatively regularly. So I'm just working on like lessening that a tad bit more because, you know, I think I bring things to the world that no one else can bring. So 100%. I keep beating myself up, I'm not gonna be able to use my gifts. So yeah, here are my gifts. There's nobody like me truly.

28:47
So there's some amazing people in the world, but there's somebody quite like me. So let me just keep doing what I do. So I'm grateful for that understanding and thank you for being part of my universe. Love it. warm in the winter time. Come to California and be with me. We can cuddle up and have tea and be a little bit less cold in this California summer we're having. But I'm actually happy. I'm happy I'm not melting to the ground. Yeah. Wait a few weeks and that might change. Wait a few weeks and that might change.

29:16
Yeah. Bye now. Bye.