Strength Renewed

00:18
If you actually remember watching Saturday Night Live, there was an episode on and it was it was called Coffee Talk and it's very, very funny. So all y'all if you don't watch Saturday Night Live reruns of all the oldies but goodies, that is one that so whenever I say Coffee Talk, I always have to feel like I have to do it like this funny accent and I have to go back and watch that because it is just so classic. that's what we do. names on... We're Coffee Talk.

00:44
There are on SNL and I actually, can't recall it being a huge part of my... I'm sure I would have watched one or... So I think it was on but I think I would probably went to bed or something. So I would not have caught it. But yeah. It always made me... Well, it makes me think about every time that we jump on and we're podcasting, I always think about the opportunity when you're in a space like this.

01:11
we talked about this last time, but like what the concept of coffee, because I think we had this conversation about like a coffee burst, I think not only is it how I doctor up my coffee, which then led to a whole lot of people asking me a million questions about what I put in my coffee and how I do it. And now I'm basically at the end of this have like 11 things that now I add to my coffee in the morning. I think last week I had three or four and now I have five. It seems like a very good place to mix it all in. everything in. it dump everything in?

01:40
But I also think that just the whole concept of like meeting somebody for coffee is just the best way to connect. And so this is really good. But I was thinking, you know, the client asked me this and perhaps I asked her first, but I'll ask you, you know, she's a lawyer and she doesn't really like being a lawyer, but she, so I said, why did you end up doing it? said, well, my parents, my parents are both lawyers. And they told me they really

02:07
them to say they encourage me they kind of pushed me to become a lawyer. And I said, that's interesting. She's like, I just it's fine. I just don't really love it. You know, it's just not my not my passion. It's like, so what is your passion? It was this completely interesting thing she was talking about. She's like, I really want to get into like, linguistics. I mean, she knew exactly what her passion was. She was like, I really want to study language. She was like, she has a young kid, he's like two. And she's like, I love watching him learn how to speak. And then it just made me think,

02:37
how many of us are actually like kind of doing our clinical passions, how many of us are like, are not doing it, but know exactly what that is, but may not be doing it. So I'll ask you, do you feel that you are kind of, first of all, do you know what your passion is? Like if you had the dream job, do you know what it is? Are you doing it? And if not, what is it? Yeah, such a great question. And I had this conversation actually the other day with

03:07
someone when we were talking about available jobs in certain areas. So me for one, 100 % I'm living my dream life. Like I really am. And I'm so fortunate to be able to make a living actually helping people. And I feel really blessed for doing that. And I'm continually stimulated and to learn more, to share more. super, super stoked. you I do, you hear people with this,

03:36
almost glib saying like, if you do what you love, you never have to work a day in your life. I mean, that's BS, isn't it? It's such bullshit. There is always behind the scenes admin that you can't do anything about and just, you know, like, so, and you can't always farm that stuff off to anyone else. So I think, and there are always mundane parts of the job, like, and luckily I have gotten rid of a lot of them, but, and I've become more choosy about what I do too. So I make decisions and, and

04:05
And then I, you know, and I, but I constantly think about what I want to do and where I want to be. Equally though, my dad is a cleaner. He has been a cleaner forever. He used to be a bank manager until I was about 12. Then he retired effectively from the bank because he'd been there for 20 years and now he cleans. And so he finds his passion outside of his work because he can't be passionate about cleaning. And he loves music and he loves learning and he loves history and he loves walking and...

04:35
all of those things. I don't know that you necessarily have like, think living a life that is that fills your cup, whether it's from work or not, I think hopefully that's what people are able to at least work towards. When your dad left, when he left his job, like managing a bank, and then he went in to do cleaning, why did he make that jump from there to there? And actually,

05:04
ironically, when you told me that he found his passion outside of cleaning, for a brief second, I almost thought you were going to say, you know, he kind of like he finds cleaning therapeutic, like it's cathartic, he's sort of alone in his head. And he can just kind of like, you know, kind of do what he needs to do. But why did he end up doing that job from some after retiring from something? Yeah, he does not feel that at all about cleaning. It is literally just cleaning.

05:29
I was optimistic. know you were. It was just the thing that was available at the time. then it was something that you didn't necessarily need another skill set for. And he was really not happy in whatever you were doing as a bank manager, whatever skill set you needed for that. Because he literally, he went from high school to working in a bank to working his way up. I don't know that you can do that nowadays in banking, but you could do it back then.

05:59
So I think it was he sort of fell into it Jess and then and now he does it and he's old enough to get both a pension and work so that's helpful for him and he can still work actually which is really great. What about you? Are you doing what you like what you're passionate about? Yeah she asked me this question and I told her that

06:26
to be really honest professionally, the two things that I really love and that I can continue. mean, if you ask me like what my dream, my dream would be continuing to podcast. I love this podcast to continue to grow. And quite frankly, I'd love to be this version of Mel Robbins, you know I mean? And like us, right? And have different people come on eventually at some point and have all kinds of things. I really love and part of my private practice and training.

06:55
Of course, I love helping people get stronger, but I really love the way they think. That's such an interesting study to me. So that's the door that I chose to enter in was the door of building strength, truly, or helping people build strength. equally, I love people's stories around that. Not even the story about how they feel about strength, but just their stories. And so I love

07:25
to understand people in that way. And so the idea that I can continue to just be in spaces where I can be as curious as I possibly can, because to me, asking questions and being able to really deep dive is how we understand life. This is like the most amazing vehicle for that. So that's what I love. mean, so those two things are like the things that completely light me up.

07:53
you know, just like anything to run the business, like I would love to do less of the mundane things less of the things that don't, you know, generate that kind of joy or really just are like my superpowers. I'd love to spend a lot more time activating just superpowers, which to me are that like, I think connecting and questioning and being able to kind of, you know, better understand people and just to explore there's so much to explore. Like, life isn't long enough. And I just want to be able to like,

08:21
bring as much, you know, unique energy in ways of asking questions and ways of connecting as possible. So for sure. And I wanted to continue to do things that allowed me to integrate having a family because that's my other great passion. like, you know, being a parent. But I think professionally speaking, you know, running a practice where I'm helping women and men build strength and in ways that also

08:51
allow for human connectivity and be able to have platforms like podcasts and things of that nature, you know, and programs that that are just scalable. So so thousands of people can benefit from what I continue to learn and relearn. And that's powerful to me. That's completely powerful. So

09:11
When I was five years old, I wanted to be a sports broadcaster. want that. And so like, this isn't all that far off from like, I wanted to literally like, you know, be in there interviewing all the athletes, you know, speaking on ESPN. So this is like a little bit of that. Yeah, that's a little bit of that dream, you know. And I, when I was young, I think I wanted to be like a lawyer or, or a receptionist actually, which is.

09:38
You wanted to answer phones and push all those buttons. Yeah, did. did totally. I wanted to dress up nice. tempting. What? And you want to dress up nice. Yeah, basically. And both of those professions tended to do that, that I saw. They do. I love the stereotypes of just jobs that we don't even know kind of what they exist in. But I did think it was an interesting question and it did make me think about how, you know, I wonder in

10:08
in the course of the people that I'm around, how much of what they're doing is actually their passion and how much of, you know, what they're doing is not. And then do they actually can they even identify what that looks like? I think that's an important question that people should like, spend a little bit of time asking. And just the continual concept that we, you know, people will lament this one decision that they didn't do. And I just think that one thing that's very powerful about entrepreneurship and

10:37
being in the space that you and I are in, is that we can, there's always there's constant reinventions of like self, you know, and what we're doing. And if this particular thing, you know, works, and we want to add a little bit to that, then we go forth, you know, and move that. But what I do know is, is how we tend to our bodies is like the most powerful thing. So some way to be able to like work within that, I think is like, very cool. So I think, I think, I think it is neat.

11:07
neat thing, but it does. I think it is worth asking. Yeah, I completely agree. you know, it's what you say about, sort of living in your working with your body and strengthening your body, which is not what you said, but I'm sort of paraphrasing. Regardless, like, if you are doing what you're passionate about, but you're not looking after yourself, then you're not going to get that full enjoyment, you?

11:33
No. And I think how you continue to and I've been also like lately, I don't know if you've been I'm sure you there's things that you've come across, I'll ask you this question too. But whether it's in a podcast or a conversation with somebody, or there's always something in the course of my week. And I think, my God, I can't wait to talk to mix about this, or I can't wait to like, process this. But I did.

11:59
I was listening to something the other day and it was a reminder. She was like some, she was a therapist and she was like, look, the words you say are super important. So I've been a little more mindful about the words that I say and certainly the way that I speak about myself because I've been running some pretty deep narratives and things and they just, you kind of forget they're just really damaging and your brain doesn't forget it.

12:28
So then it gets locked in there, right? And then you just repeat it and therefore it becomes true. And I just don't want some of the things that I sometimes have said or do to continue to be true because I don't actually think they're true in spite of what I might say. Yeah. So I don't know if you come across anything like that's just kind of resonated for you as of late. maybe, I know you and are both talking about this earlier because your day in and day life is very, very clinical.

12:56
and mine tends to be a little bit more less clinical, a little more emotional, right? So we're like good yin yang. But is there anything that you've read or you've talked to somebody and then it be clinical too, like, shit, I didn't know that. You think you're like a mineral or something, it would sound kind of cool, but yeah. My job is really emotional too, actually. didn't mean to, when we were having that conversation, I just meant to say that I wasn't only on one topic and it wasn't just perimenopause. know, that is, are so many other things which I'm.

13:25
able to dive into because I have, I do writing for companies on certain things and all rest of it. But it is that there is some, obviously some sort of clinical element, but mindset is everything. And I talk to people all the time about the narrative because like we're just finished up with one of my programs and I'm onboarding them onto a different one for some of them. like, it's very easy to, when you're in it to be

13:56
implementing the diet strategy to be implementing the exercise. But if you haven't yet done the work on the mindset or begun that, then actually you're just sort of setting yourself up to fail, aren't you? Because that deep set mind, those deep set narratives, which have sort of kept you in a place for years, like they haven't gone. Just because you've had the support of a program, you've had a mentor that you've been saying to yourself, you know, like eight weeks or 16 weeks or

14:24
24 weeks isn't enough to unravel that sort of mindset. it's, I think understanding that I think is a real win for people because they can then get to the bottom. They can begin to get to the bottom of what keeps them stuck in a place. Cause we've all got narratives. often do feel like you can get people unstuck from a place? I think I have conversations with people every day and about it that

14:49
then their eyes sort of like light up, but it takes years. Like it's not just a conversation. is like these people are in your ecosystem for years. And I think those are people who I see now, like some of my earlier members and clients, see that there's a real shift in them and they see it too. But other people, can, it's just a work on, isn't it? Like all of these things, like you can't.

15:15
And that's why, and I mentioned to you exposure therapy actually, and you were like, oh, I like that. What's that? love that. I don't even know what it is, but it sounds good. And the context I meant it in, like I was using it inaccurately when we were talking, but actually what you expose yourself to different ways of thinking and different ways of doing things. you can't, and that's not, it's not just a matter of like listening to a podcast or reading. It's actually, it's.

15:42
And I talk to people about daily exposure to different ideas and different ways of thinking because you have to rewrite that script somehow. And it doesn't just happen just by going, right, not going to think that anymore. That's not how definitely doesn't happen. explain, I'm a little bit, I'm actually very intrigued with this. What does it say to help you kind of, I love the concept of like mini exposures. What's a little bit more around the framework of that?

16:10
Well, it's like the more that you're exposed to different ways of thinking, the differently you think.

16:18
genius, isn't it? And I mean, it's you know what, I've seen this tonight. This is like a version of exposure therapy for me, right? Because it's just like another way to like frame it another way to like, yeah, about it. Yeah, I think that's I think that's kind of incredible. So what like, so just the the the practices around that is literally that like, kind of is it daily like daily exposure therapy? Is it like, like, I'm, I'm, I'm not

16:46
talking to you about it in a way that you would find in a textbook, I believe. think I'm sure that there is a very clinical way to do it, but how I talk to people, has to be, it has to be daily. Like it has to be something that, because if it's not, then it's too easy to get back to default ways of thinking and behaving. But you actually have to, you have to have that friction, because it is a friction initially, like it's different and it feels uncomfortable. might feel inauthentic at first.

17:15
or because you're going against what your inner thoughts or your feelings are, but you have to do it daily to remove the friction. So you do start to sort of buy into it. Like the, am successful at business or I am successful in weight loss or I am a strong individual. I am someone who exercises, but you might not believe it at first, but you be it till you see it.

17:42
Well, I think it's, I think it is, I think to your point, there's two isms that sometimes I think are kind of funny, but one is the business one we used earlier. Like if you, you know, you love it, you never work a day in your life kind of thing. And then the other one is there's a little bit of that, you know, that, that mantra of like, fake it till you make it, but like, but I don't even really believe that I'm faking it. It's more than it's just that like, I'm inviting this narrative, I'm inviting this form of like, you know, the using the words that feel more.

18:11
and inspiring, but also like empowering, right? Like, because that's the, me, that's what it continues to come back to me. I always think about every time when we jump on our podcast, and we look at our title, and I'm like, I love it that we pick strength renewed, because every day is a little opportunity for a small renewal, right? Like you're renewing your body, renewing the way you're thinking. And if you do that, it's like,

18:33
there's a whole lot more open to you. You know what mean? It's not like just these like four free ways to get to where you go. have like 16, you know, when you do that. But I just like, I think I love what you what you said, mine, mine was, words are really powerful. So just like be super mindful of the word you're using. And I love this concept of exposure therapy. And of course, what we're both doing is very heavy in, you know,

19:00
behavioral therapy to write we're dealing with people or do they're not robots, you know what I mean? And so everybody's got their own they carry their these, you know, very hardwired behaviors when it comes to like the work we do. So yes, you have to kind of meet them wherever they are, whatever that looks like. But I think the concept of like, trying things on a little differently is really, really, really like, it's kind of a cool concept to me. So yeah, I appreciate

19:30
I appreciated hearing that today because I was like, Oh, yeah, I like this. I the idea of that. Yeah. And you're just saying it's like just, it's just a constant way of practicing habits that may not be second nature to you, basically. But then they become, then they can become. Yeah, that's the concept. So I'm just trying to think of because, you know, part of what I what I always appreciate about conversations together is that, again, we take a lot of information and try to condense it to a bite size piece.

19:59
so that you can feel successful eating that, because it's a lot more digestible to take a little bit. But I know one thing that when I listen to your voice in my head and we talk about nutrition or health, I always ask the why. You know what I mean? Like, I'll think, do I want to go to the same behavior as I was in? Or if you will say it in my head, she'll be like, well, no, didn't really need to do the chocolate almonds. can have a little protein shake instead. And that will just give you whole lot more for you, right? So just like a different way of leading. Yeah, I like that.

20:28
And that sounds like that's working for you too. And I will say, and we'll just finish up with, mean, you said fake it till you make it, that's different. It's very different. it till you see it. It's be it till you see it. And that's why, that's really why I thought those two things were, I don't, don't, they don't resonate for me. You'll never work a day in your life if you love what you do. Yeah. Doesn't resonate for me and fake it till you make it never really resonated for me either, because I'm not, first of all, I'm like the most authentic human.

20:54
possible. like faking is kind of just not what I do. But I like what you just said. So say it one more time. Yeah, be it till you see it. Be it till you see it. Amazing. Nice, What are you grateful for today? It's nice to be asked the question of, know, are you doing what you're passionate about? Because you're just reminded of the fact that you you are. So I'm grateful for that. How about you? That I love this. It's probably the same as you. I will never ever

21:25
feel anything other than a whole lot of gratitude for this for us for this and for the ability to talk about the things that I think are super helpful for people. I'm so grateful to be able to share it. mean, it's really outstanding. I'm, I'm also, I'm particularly grateful for sports, watching sports on TV, people were having this conversation because there's a big

21:50
And if you follow NCAA basketball, the final championship was tonight. And I was thinking about that because sometimes it's nice to have these things in like, like sports to just kind of rally around no matter what's sort of happening in the world. It's just such like a nice thing to bring people together. And you just see the most incredible, like, you know, just mental grit and physical prowess. And it's just nice. So I was sort of grateful in that moment.

22:20
be super inspired by NCAA basketball and like watching that. So living out your dreams, this podcast with you and sports. Sports. love it. Nice, Jess. Have a great evening. Thank you. You too.